Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A Commentary on the Sad State of Nickname Imposition

My brother's name is Nicholas.

I call him Chevy.

My dad and I imposed this nickname on him many years ago. Where do we come up with Chevy from Nicholas? Well, it's quite simple.

Nicholas can be shortened to Nick,
which can then be lengthened to Knickerbocker
which can be shortened again to bocker
there is (was, anyway) a car dealership in my hometown called Bocker-Chevrolet
Chevy is, as you know, the common term for a Chevrolet.

Why did we stop there, you may ask? We could have gone all out...

Chevy Chase,
Chase Meridian (from Batman Forever),
Prime Meridian,
prime rib,
rib cage,
cage fight,
Fight Club,
club sandwich...

Okay, admittedly, this could get a little out of hand, but you have to admit that we often fall short of a true effort when we impose nicknames on people. Creativity is lacking in the world of nicknames. Just imagine the possibilities if we were to truly open our minds!

Without creativity, all tall people (ahem, ahem) end up with nicknames like Jolly Green, Goliath and Shorty.

I like Tall Pants, though. Precise. Pithy. Succinct.

Do you dare to take the progression all the way to Sandwich? Even further? More power to you. Viva la Revolucion!


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